First meat piece

Shortly after their return from their honeymoon the Nasruddins moved into their new house, and the bride was anxious to put into practice the lessons she had taken in cooking.

Returning home one evening, the Mulla found his wife in tears. Between sobs he managed to learn from her that something terrible had happened.

"Darling," she said, "it was the first meat piece I ever baked for you, and the cat has eaten it."

"That's all right my love," said Nasruddin, patting her on the shoulder, "I WILL GET YOU ANOTHER CAT TOMORROW."

A DOG'S LIFE

"Are you sure that it was a marriage license you gave me last month?" asked Mulla Nasruddin.

"Yes, Sir, What's the matter?"

"I THOUGHT THERE MIGHT BE SOME MISTAKE, SEEING THAT I HAVE LIVING A DOG'S LIFE EVER SINCE."

DEFECTS

"Now that we are married," she said to Mulla Nasruddin, "perhaps I can point out a FEW OF YOUR defects."

"Don't bother, dear," replied Nasrudin. "I KNOW ALL ABOUT THEM. IT'S THOSE DEFECTS THAT KEPT ME FROM GETTING A BETTER WIFE THAN YOU."

WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN

"Hello, Mulla. I have not seen you for a month. How are things going with you?"

"Oh,so-so. I have been married since I last saw, you," said Mulla Nasruddin.

"So I heard. As a matter of fact. I knew your wife before you married her."

"WELL, THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME? ' asked Nasruddin.

MOONLIGHT

"Do you believe that the moonlight makes people silly, Mulla?" asked the bride after the honeymoon.

"Yes Dear," remarked Mulla Nasruddin from behind his evening paper. "I PROPOSED TO YOU IN THE MOONLIGHT."

Satisfaction

They had been married three months, and she said, "Are you satisfied with our married life, Mulla?"

"Yes," replied Nasrudin. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF IT."

Lighting the fire

After three weeks of marriage she accused Mulla Nasrudin of not loving her as much as he did when they were first married. "You used to get up and light the FIRE every morning," she said. "And now you let me get up and do it."

"Nonsense, my love," answered Nasrudin. "YOU GETTING UP TO LIGHT THE FIRE MAKES ME LOVE YOU ALL THE MORE."

Let's not change the subject

"Do you love me, Mulla?" whispered the girl.

"Of course I do," Mulla Nasrudin whispered back.

"Will you marry me then?" she asked.

"LET'S NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT?" said Nasrudin.

RUINING HOLIDAY

Returning from his holiday, Mulla Nasrudin asked for two weeks more in which to get married.

"But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then?"

"WHAT, AND RUIN MY HOLIDAY?"

OPPOSED TO MARRIAGE

It was their first quarrel. The Mulla was coming off worst until he brought his bride's family into the argument.

"Your father is an old drunkard," he stated with venom. "Your mother is a nagger. and your brother is an idle layabout."

"Can't you say one decent thing about my family?" she asked, sarcastically.

"YES, JUST ONE," replied Nasrudin. "THEY WERE ALL OPPOSED TO OUR MARRIAGE."

WOULD STILL PREFER DAUGHTER

Mulla Nasrudin was round at his fiancee's home, having a serious talk with her father.

"Sir, I'd like to marry your daughter," he announced .

His girl's father looked at him.

"Have you seen my wife yet?" he asked.

"OH, YES SIR," replied Nasrudin. "BUT IF YOU DON'T MIND, I WOULD STILL PREFER YOUR DAUGHTER, SIR."

Let's pretend we are married

Mulla Nasrudin in the upper berth was awakened by a persistent tapping from below.

"I am terribly cold down here. I wonder if you mind getting me a blanket," said a lady's voice.

"I have a better idea," the Mulla replied sleepily. "Let's pretend we are married."

"That sounds like a lovely idea," she giggled.

"GOOD," said Nasrudin rolling over. 'NOW GO GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLANKET."

It could have been worse

Mulla Nasrudin constantly irritated his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "It could have been worse."

To cure him of this annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely black, so dreadful, that even Nasrudin could find no hope in it. Approaching him at the club bar one day, one of them said, "Mulla, Did you hear what happened to George? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, then turned the gun on himself!"

"Terrible," said the Mulla "But it could have been worse."

"How in hell," asked his dumbfounded friend, "could it possibly have been worse?"

"Well," said Nasrudin, "IF IT HAD HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE! I WOULD BE DEAD NOW."

Opera singer

Mulla Nasrudin decided to settle down and narrowed his choice between a beautiful but dumb doll and an opera singer. He finally chose brains and culture and married the singer. They spent their wedding night at a swanky hotel. When Nasrudin opened his eyes the next morning and the dawn's early light began to shine upon his bride, he looked at her and shuddered and cried out: "SING FOR GOD'S SAKE SING."

A RECEIPT

Mulla Nasrudin was in the home of his fiancee, being given the once-over by her parents.

"Tell me young man," said his potential mother-in-law, "if my daughter marries you, and I give her a substantial dowry, what have you to offer in return?"

The Mulla smiled brightly.

"I WILL GIVE YOU A RECEIPT," he said.

MONEY, BRAINS AND LOOKS

"I don't know why your father does not like me," she said to Mulla Nasrudin at their wedding reception.

"Neither do I," replied Nasrudin. "AFTER ALL, MONEY, BRAINS AND LOOKS ARE NOT EVERYTHING."

ENTHUSIASM

Everything was in readiness for the marriage ceremony. The groom and the best man had arrived. But the groom, Mulla Nasrudin, was uneasy, apprehensive.

"What's worrying you, Mulla?" asked the best man. "Have you lost the ring?"

"No," answered Nasrudin with a sigh. "I HAVE GOT THE RING? BUT I HAVE LOST MY ENTHUSIASM."